Litopia

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Pop-Up Submissions Grand Summer Party!

AgentPete

Capo Famiglia
Guardian
Full Member
LV
0
 
Final show of the series before our late summer break; we're back on Sunday 23rd September! On this show, there's historical fiction from Douglas, a thriller from Geoff, crime/thriller from Edward, a musical thriller from Robert and adult humour from David. Plus word games galore!
 

David Weller

Basic
LV
0
 
Thanks to AgentPete, AliG, Katie-Ellen and everyone in the chat room for your comments on my untitled submission this evening. A special thanks to Rich for reading it so well. If anyone is interested, the whole of the first chapter is currently available to view on wattpad. Type A NIGHT OUT IN WHITECHAPEL - davidweller06 - Wattpad into the Google search engine and the correct link will appear. Please let me know what you think.
 

Katie-Ellen

Full Member
LV
2
 
Awards
1
I thought it was quite tele-visual, Edward. I could just see it on a screen, and thought it was well on its way, just less would have been more in the opening chapter. I rather liked the Latin inscription God Protects, I'm guessing that was a bit of foreshadowing going on there, and God's going to have up his game pretty soon on the protecting front. I look forward to learning more.

My spouse is from Dover...and everywhere. Army brat born 53.
 

Edward Figg

Basic
LV
0
 
I did have a second first chapter so maybe I should have submitted that instead. :) Being new to this, what is a cowbell?
 

Katie-Ellen

Full Member
LV
2
 
Awards
1
It means more oomph needed. In this context is means the writing needs to rack up the punch a few notches, and the hook needs to be stronger. Passion with control. It's a reference to a famous Christopher Walken skit that became a wider running joke.

 
Top