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Pop-Up Submissions Grand Summer Party!

David Weller

Basic
Apr 3, 2018
276
319
Kent
Thanks to AgentPete, AliG, Katie-Ellen and everyone in the chat room for your comments on my untitled submission this evening. A special thanks to Rich for reading it so well. If anyone is interested, the whole of the first chapter is currently available to view on wattpad. Type A NIGHT OUT IN WHITECHAPEL - davidweller06 - Wattpad into the Google search engine and the correct link will appear. Please let me know what you think.
 

Katie-Ellen Hazeldine

Full Member
Sep 25, 2014
4,825
6,949
UK
I thought it was quite tele-visual, Edward. I could just see it on a screen, and thought it was well on its way, just less would have been more in the opening chapter. I rather liked the Latin inscription God Protects, I'm guessing that was a bit of foreshadowing going on there, and God's going to have up his game pretty soon on the protecting front. I look forward to learning more.

My spouse is from Dover...and everywhere. Army brat born 53.
 

Katie-Ellen Hazeldine

Full Member
Sep 25, 2014
4,825
6,949
UK
It means more oomph needed. In this context is means the writing needs to rack up the punch a few notches, and the hook needs to be stronger. Passion with control. It's a reference to a famous Christopher Walken skit that became a wider running joke.

 
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